Customer ran into a bug with our LDAP software that screwed up 250k entries in their LDAP causing them to take it out of production. I asked the IBM service guy on-site repeatedly for the output of two DB2 commands, expecting we could do it directly in DB2 (which LDAP sits on top of) much faster than going through LDAP. Aforementioned IBMer was too busy to run the two (2!) commands I provided to him. Instead he spent a day or so creating a script to fix it using LDAP commands and gave it to the customer. After getting it started, customer estimates that total running time is 10 days. Customer is very unhappy and escalates the situation way up. I get called in. After receiving the output of the two commands, an hour of developing/throughly testing/confirming a script to work in DB2, and 15 minutes to run the script – we’re done.
In short: I do know what I’m talking about, that’s why my (self-given) title is “ITIM Performance Lead (LDAP & DB2 Performance Peon)”. And yes, it really does say that in the internal IBM corporate directory, aka BluePages.
Digital Ramblings 
YOU GO BOY!
Now, we just have to keep you from giving away our executives’ potential future earnings from photos. ;-)
I’ve always said you were “a smart little fucker.” Thanks for proving me right once again.
As an IBM shareholder, I appreciate you.
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Shouldn’t you change that to “Performance Guru” from “Performance Peon”? Or would it run the risk of your ego exploding and leveling the IBM campus? =)
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Guru vs Peon
I thought about changing to just such a title after my last promotion but realized that it sounds too much like bragging. I don’t know everything about performance so “Guru” is over the top. I stuck with Peon because of the alliteration and the self-deprecation conveys a sense of humor and plausible deniability.
But mostly, yes it was due at the request of the IBM Austin campus executive over fear of harming coworkers from the massive explosion :)
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Re: Guru vs Peon
Ah, self-deprecation… Kind of like the time that Sam Palmisano said that he lacked curb appeal. It was rather amusing to hear him say that about himself. I’m half expecting HGTV’s Curb Appeal tv show to rush over to NY, visit Sam Palmisano and give him a makeover! Yikes!
I, among other employees at the Austin campus, thank you for not leveling the campus. We like being alive and having a place to go to work. =)
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