The lure of irresponsibility

Loyal. Dependable. Reliable. Responsible.

These are the cornerstones of who I see myself as, although I’m unsure if they are descriptive or prescriptive. Regardless they are key components of my life and heavily influence my interactions professionally and personally. And frankly I’m a little sick of them. Some part of me wants to be less responsible, less in control, less dependable.

What does that mean? I have no idea, I’ve never been there before. Do I need to hang out with people who are less responsible to emulate what I think I want? Do I hang out with people who are more responsible to allow me to temporarily relinquish responsibility to them? Are the two mutually exclusive?

I feel like I’ve been responsible all my life. I think I want to be less so, I’m just not sure why or how.