Sexism, racism, and physical attraction

Kenny told me of a Grindr profile he once saw that said:

White guys only. I’m not racist but my penis is.

We all sort of chuckle and cringe at the same time. But that got me thinking about the following chain of physical attraction:

If you’re…

  • …strictly heterosexual or homosexual, does that make you sexist?
  • …only attracted to people around your age, does that make you ageist?
  • …only attracted to people of the same race as you, does that make you racist?
  • …gay and strictly attracted to your “gender-norm”, are you homophobic?

If you’re like me you started out on the list answering a strong “no” and that “no” got less and less forceful as you went down the list. I speculate that most of us have some very rigid boundaries on what flips our skirt or makes our soldier salute, but there’s a lot of fluidity even within those boundaries. Which of those boundaries are the result of environmental and societal influence and which are more innate?

I don’t have any answers, but I think the questions and implications are interesting to ponder over.

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I'm a gay geek living in Seattle, WA.

One thought on “Sexism, racism, and physical attraction”

  1. I had a black wheelchair using lesbian friend of mine one time, be really surprised that there was a black guy (or maybe it was a guy in a wheelchair, its been a long time.) I was physically attracted to..

    IMHO, people are attracted to who they are attracted to, this has nothing to do how they treat others, which is the logical mismatch in your entry. sexist, ageist, racist, and homophobic all describe how you treat others. I can not be attracted to you, but still treat you respectfully.

    Now if someone is gay and follows the norms of their gender pretty well, and calls a flamboyant guy a fag, or doesn’t treat them respectfully, thats homophobia.


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